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Do I smell?

Do I smell? You darn right I do! I'm not gonna shell out 4 bucks for deodorant without sniffing it out first. There are so many wild new flavors! Afrikan Violet, Asian Pear, Jasmine Orient, KuKu Cocoa Butter, Spanish Rose and Vanilla Chai, to name a few. Choosing a deodorant can be the pits.

So I'm at Walmart today, having a hey day in the deodorant aisle. A woman and her daughter were standing next to me, contemplating their own flavor, when the woman gives me the evil eye, turns to her daughter and hisses "That's disgusting!" I'm like... what? Are they talking about me? I'm just popping the cover, I don't touch the plastic guard over the deodorant. As they walked away she was still growling "That's so disgusting!" Grrrrr!

It's not my fault. Why don't they have a scratch and sniff for each deodorant flavor? I held my tongue with this woman, but later when my sense of humor kicked in, I came up with a few good tactics should this happen again in the future.

1. Start rolling the deodorant under my arm, and ask if I smell any better.

2. Start licking the deodorant and say "Gee. This doesn't taste as good as it smells."

3. Follow this 'nosy' woman to the grocery section, and then push ahead of her into every aisle and start unscrewing the lids off peanut butter, coffee cans and toilet bowl cleaners, and really go to town with my obsessive/compulsive disorder. She ain't seen nothing yet!

Or maybe I'll just say:

Hey, I have an idea! Maybe instead of sniffing deodorant, we should just go right to the source and form a pit-sniffing line at Walmart!

How about you? Do you smell?