THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY

THE GOOD: Our kids chipped in and got us a big screen HD TV for Christmas, along with a Blu Ray player. I know, what? All this high-tech stuff...HD, R2D2, C3PO. It's all foreign to me. The picture on the tube is glorious, you should see the colors on this thing! It's so big and wild, makes me think I had some bad mushrooms.

THE BAD: I don't know how to work any of it. Let's start with the remote controls. There used to be one remote, and I aimed and fired that thing like there was no tomorrow. But now there's 4 of these bad boys! I'm picking them up one at a time, pressing all the buttons...nothing. I'm holding all of them at once, clicking and aiming in every direction, slinging my weapons at every moving target. Nothing. Huh? One of these bad boys is ringing...Oh wait, looks like one of the remotes is actually the telephone. Okay, so we're down to 3 bad boys.

THE UGLY: I don't need to color a picture for you, do I? Somebody's going to get hurt.

Tonight it's New Year's Eve, and we're planning on picking up a movie from Blockbuster. Hopefully all goes well. If not, we'll have a deck of cards on standby.

Happy New Year! May God shower His blessings on you in the upcoming year...

TO FAST OR NOT TO FAST, THAT IS THE QUESTION

“After fasting forty days and forty nights, He (Jesus) was hungry.” (Matt 4:2)

Just thinking about going on a fast makes me hungry. It’s like my brain starts sending signals to my stomach…”All hands and forks on deck – the captain is walking the plank!” So my stomach responds by setting anchor at the next port, and stocking up on potato chips and snickers bars.

The longest fast God ever put me on was a liquid-only fast for seven days. Right around day five I caved. Every food group and by-product was calling my name, so I ate. The next morning upon awakening, I decided I was in need of French toast sticks. I figured since I already broke my fast the night before, I might as well eat.
Apparently God had different plans. As I lie there dreaming of breakfast, I suddenly had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I rolled over towards Mark, and I groaned “Oh, no!” “What’s wrong now?” Mark asked. (Note to self: don’t start whining before Mark has his coffee.) “I don’t think God will let me eat breakfast!” “Just go ahead and eat,” he said “problem solved. Now go back to sleep.”

I immediately headed downstairs, confident that I could eat, since Mark said it was okay. (And in case God should question me, I would answer “it was the man you gave me, he told me to eat!”) I put some French toast sticks on a pan, and put them in the oven. As I was waiting for the timer to go off, God started tapping me on the shoulder. “What do you think you’re doing?” He asked. I tried reasoning with Him, and explained that I already broke my fast with last night’s pizza. He didn’t budge. I then reminded Him that wasting food is a sin. Still nothing. Finally I gave in. “Fine” I said “but don’t come along later with a big guilt trip about all the hungry kids in China when I throw my French toast sticks in the garbage!”

I made it the rest of the week without too much complaining. On the seventh night, our son Jordan was healed at a prayer service. I finally understood why God wanted me to fast the entire week, it was for a miracle. I was so impressed by the logistics of it, that I started fasting one day a week from then on. I didn’t fast for anything in particular, mostly for other people’s prayer requests. I really thought I had struck gold with this new discovery, and I was determined to stick with this fasting regiment for the rest of my life. But then I read what the Bible had to say about fasting.

Esther instructed Mordecai to gather the Jews to fast when Haman was bent on killing all of them (Esther 3, 4). The Israelites fasted and wore sackcloth as an act of repentance to the Lord (Nehemiah 9). David fasted in sackcloth and ashes to plead with the Lord to turn from his anger towards Jerusalem (Daniel 9).

And this was interesting: Jezebel called for a day of fasting to honor Naboth, but it was all a ploy to murder Naboth in order to obtain his vineyard (1 Kings 21). That particular fast was obviously not Spirit led, which taught me that we should be careful who we listen to when it comes to fasting.

Isaiah 58 paints a different picture of what God thinks of fasting. He said “Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed and for lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord? Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your good with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?”

And in Matthew 9:14 when John’s disciples asked Jesus why His disciples didn’t fast, he said “How can the guests of the bridegroom mourn while he is with them? The time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; then they will fast.” So I concluded that feeding the hungry was more important to God than just sitting at home with my stomach growling. And if Jesus said we should fast out of longing for the bridegroom, then I decided I would fast out of my longing for His presence, and not just because I want some physical answer to prayer. But then another question arose– how often and how long should I fast?

And then one day God answered my questions. Oh, this is good, are you ready? He said “There is no formula.” Aha! God didn’t want me to make a ceremony or ritual out of fasting; instead, it should be a matter of the heart, not of men’s rules and regulations. In a matter of seconds, I was in the kitchen pigging out on peanut butter.

Peppermint Twist

Faith says:



Faith says:

Faith says:



Today Faith said "Grammy, I love this peppermint lotion soooo much! I wish I could eat it!" I said "I know, baby girl. But please don't eat it." She was rubbing it on her hands every 10 minutes. Then she would run over to her brother Wyatt, stick her hands in his face and say "Smell my peppermint lotion - it will change your life!"

You can buy your own Twisted Peppermint lotion at Bath & Body Works.


Debby

Sweet Somethings

A shout-out to Amber (Refined Metals Academy), Cathy (Tales of the TCKK Family), Andrea (Arise 2 Write), Just Be Real, Audrey (Country Mom) and Jacob (A Pilgrim's Journey) for these awesome blog awards! Jacob gave me two awards, I'm just gushing with bubbly joy!

Now there were some rules to each of these, and honestly...I can't remember what they were. So I'll just make up some rules of my own.

I LOVE all my faithful readers. So if you're here reading this post, please help yourself to one of these awards. If you're like me, you like to coordinate colors on your blog, so pick the one that sends you over the top, over the edge, or flying by the seat of your pants, which ever you prefer.

My own made-up rules: Name 10 things that no one would ever want to know about you, and here's mine:

1. I just got my hair cut really, really, really short. My family is now terrified of me, and I'm pretty terrified myself. I had to smash all the mirrors in the house!

2. Jammin' to 'Rusted Root' these days...

3. I don't like rules. Don't blame me, God made me that way. Picture John the Baptist, only without the hair-shirt and beard.

4. When I'm blogging or reading, I'm lost in an alternate universe. You may talk all you like, but I can't hear you.

5. I LOVE the desert. God must have thought I meant 'dessert' cause beautiful food keeps showing up every which way I turn.

6. Napoleon Dynamite rocks my world!

7. I'm impulsive, compulsive, and any other pulsive you can think of.

8. "Bye bye" were my first words. They're also my last words. I love to go "bye bye."

Besides, If God's got the whole world in His hands, this should be a no-brainer as far as He's concerned.

9. I'm a recluse. Seriously, the light of day very seldom makes it here. Put me in a little shack in the mountains, and I'll be just fine. Heck, just shack me up with this guy. Looks like he knows what he's doing.

10. A few last words. Bye bye...

New Years Resolutions

Hey, I thought it would be fun to start a New Year's resolution post. Anyone who wants to can list a few things here that they are believing for in 2010. Then next December I'll post our list, and we'll see how many of our 'wishes' came true.

You can list as many wishes as you like, but let's do at least one physical or material thing, and one spiritual thing you would like God to do in you. I'll get the ball rolling:

1. Relocate someplace warm with lots of palm trees.

2. Lose 20 lbs.

3. Get my book published.

4. Learn more about the many sides of God's personality.

You're next.....

Merry Christmas!

Last year Otis ate my Christmas present. Mark
wrapped a 5 lb box of fudge and put it under the
tree. When we came back from church, there
was wrapping paper everywhere, and not one
piece of fudge in sight. I thought maybe Otis
would get sick, and that would be his punishment,
but alas, he was just fine, and I was the one who
felt sick. This year the only by-product under
our tree was a bone.


Wyatt and Faith had to put the U.S. puzzle together to
find out which two states we're taking them to on Easter
break (California and Arizona).

Celebrating Jesus, the greatest gift of all..

The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree Saga Resolution

A surprising turn of events for our family Christmas tree dilemma. I had been forewarned by the EGM board that my pathetic, termite-eaten Charlie Brown tree was unacceptable in our household (read post below to catch up on the unfolding drama). The board decided to put the decision in the hands of the Heavenly Humor readers. The vote was unanimous - we would put both trees up in order to appease all members.

It was further determined that the 'monster' Christmas tree would await decoration until said arrival of the EGM President, one Aaron Erdmann. In the meantime, the monster tree was assembled and plugged in, and the Charlie Brown tree was positioned in the opposite corner of its' opponent.

The result? The Charlie Brown tree looked mighty sad and weak standing alongside the great and mighty monster tree. Not happy. Something must be done to appease the board members. Solution:

The Charlie Brown tree was moved to an undisclosed location (well okay, it was relocated to the Dining Room, where it sadly rues the day it was born). A very big, but very fake banana tree was brought back to life from it's once ill-fated home in our bedroom, where the only onlookers were one sleeping giant, and one slumbering Snow White.

Sadly, the picture does not do the banana tree justice. The trunk is bedecked with green lights, and the bigger blobs higher up in the tree that look like UFO's are green and teal palm tree lights. I think you'll agree that the monster tree has met its' match in the Christmas tree arena!

And now, dear friends, I bid adieu until after the flurry of Christmas excitement has reached it's final apex in the Erdmann household. For more Christmas cheer, and quality JESUS time, feel free to visit my other blogs:

POETRY AND PARADISE

MARKINGS IN THE WOOD

Merry Christmas!

The Charlie Brown Christmas Tree Saga

I realize it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but I have a Christmas tree issue to deal with. Every year I look forward to Christmas, when I can put up my Tahoe Christmas Tree. It's one of those delicate turkey feather trees (or at least that's what I call them). I bought it a few years ago at an antique shop, ornaments and all. My kids call it 'the Charlie Brown tree.'

Every year it's a battle with my family. They want a HUGE monster Christmas tree. The kind that takes up the whole living room. Ugh! Sooo much work. So little time. And I find myself counting down the days until Christmas is over, and I can finally put the beast back in the attic where it belongs.

So we're shopping at the World Market today, where I find the most awesome African animal ornaments that would look great in my Safari themed living room, on my tahoe tree. My son immediately calls his brother, who proceeds to lecture me about the Christmas rules, which he refers to as 'the Erdmann Gift Matrix.' The "EGM" was established two years ago, when I suggested we forgo exchanging Christmas presents and work in a soup kitchen, or send presents to orphans instead. (That idea was shot down).

When we arrived back home, I received this email sent from Aaron to all his brothers and sisters...and me:

Dear Erdmann family member,

There has been a major development in the Erdmann Christmas tradition.

The tradition of displaying a Christmas tree in the living room is being shaken once again.

"This isn't anything new. We've seen this behavior in 1999 with the introduction of the Charlie Brown tree, and again in 2002 and 2005," commented Aaron Erdmann, Erdmann Family historian.

"The Charlie Brown tree has been a sleeping giant since 2005," continued Aaron, "but the sleeping giant has awakened, and it's about to blow like a volcano."

EGM (Erdmann Gift Matrix) officials have been working around the clock to stop the progression of the Charlie Brown tree. "The Board of Trustees has held hearings to nominate representatives, and we'll have further details available by Thanksgiving," stated Jordan Erdmann, Treasurer of EGM. With Thanksgiving less than a week away, time is ticking for EGM to come up with a plan.

Members of the Erdmann family are urged to voice their opinion to officials by clicking "REPLY ALL" to this email.

What do you think? Am I a Scrooge?

(Issue resolved. See comments)

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Christmas Memories

My dad had a hard childhood and life, and because he never was given love, he didn't know how to give it. There were nine of us kids, and I'm sure each of us has our own scars to carry. The one Christmas that I will never forget was the time my sisters and I were decorating Christmas cookies. We were laughing, and competing to see who could produce the most beautiful cookie. And then my dad came in and hollered at us for making a mess, and sent us to our rooms.

After I got married and moved away, we came home for Christmas every year to visit Mom and Dad. One year I gave my dad a gift that I thought he would really love, and....when he opened it he became very angry. He yelled that he didn't want it, and I ran out of the house in tears. My husband drove me around town to see the Christmas lights, hoping that would cheer me up. If I remember correctly...it didn't.

Ever since my kids were old enough to decorate Christmas cookies, I have gone overboard to make each and every Christmas memory a happy one. I buy every color of sugar there is, and loads of sprinkles and glitter. We end up with a HUGE mess in the kitchen...and I happily clean it up later on. (One of the pages of 'The King's Kids' is about this very memory).

A few years ago, I went to visit my dad in the nursing home, stopping as always at the gift shop first to buy him a molasses cookie (those were his favorite). I wasn't actually allowed to give him any sweets, because he was a diabetic. But day after day he would sit in his tiny, joyless room, with nothing to look forward to, so the cookies were our little secret.

One day right after handing him his cookie, the nurse walked in the room! I quickly grabbed the cookie out of his mouth and threw it across the room, which left him looking quite bewildered. After the nurse left I gave it back to him, explaining that he wasn't actually allowed to eat cookies. When I left that day, the nurse came back in, and I looked back to wave goodbye to Dad, and to my chagrin his lap was full of cookie crumbs! Oh, the horror...

The other thing that gave my dad pleasure was watching polka videos. As kids we were forced to listen to blasting loud polka music all day long, so suffice it to say, I have never been too fond of this brand of music. My sister had sent some polka videos for my dad, so I put one in and sat down to watch it with him. As I was watching the 'Polka King' singing, I found myself enthralled. Something about this dear man gave me so much joy, I sat glued to my chair, watching his every move, hanging on every note. I thought to myself "God must really love this guy. I could watch him all day!" Just then God said to me "That's how I feel about you!" This was not my wild imagination, okay? He said it, and when he did, I was overwhelmed and could barely speak or move, much less drive myself home.

The last time I visited my dad before he passed away, I gave him a hug and kiss. His skin was paper thin, and I noticed for the first time how frail he looked. He had become a skeleton of a man. Where was the monster that had terrified me all those years? He hugged me back and told me he loved me. Never in my life had he said those words to me! Then I asked if I could bring him something the next time, and he said "I don't need anything. All I need is your love." (Wow!)

God had given me a beautiful memory to replace all the bad ones. Not only did he soften my dad's heart so he could love, but God showed me that HIS all-consuming love had been there all along.

And that's why those old Christmas memories have turned into works of art in my life. Oh yeah, one more thing. Someday when I'm old and sitting in a nursing home somewhere...for the love of God, LET ME HAVE A COOKIE!

Merry Christmas,

Debby

Arizona Trip

I'm baack! We had to extend our trip in Arizona, to decorate our daughter Jennifer's new house. As a result of the extension, we had to take the red-eye flight home last night. Don't ever do that. *Big Yawn* As promised, here are pictures of the work we did at our daughter's new house:

Jennifer and her boyfriend Ryan, hard at work.

A view of the living room, from the front room. We painted this dividing wall burnt orange. Cool, huh?

We painted a table set we found at a garage sale down the road.

We found this awesome coffee table at a Mexican furniture store for half-price!

Everything on this wall came from that same Mexican store (well, except the TV, of course). And we even managed to get in a day trip or two. Here's hubby and me at a stop on the Apache Trail. The entire mountain drive took 3 hours. Pure bliss!

Do you know Jackie from 'Fresh Oil Today'? We met on our blogs, and then met in person in Arizona. I'll post those pictures another time. The day after we met, Jackie's daughter who lives in Florida was rushed to the hospital. She was found unconscious in her car. Please pray for Jackie's daughter, Katie! We were very sad and upset to hear this.

And some more bad news today. Aaron's ordeal from the assault is still plaguing us (http://heavenlyhumor.blogspot.com/2009/11/my-beautiful-boy.html) Aaron had his court hearing from when he was assaulted last month in Virginia Beach. One of the men who hit him was charged guilty, but he only got a slap on the wrist. The other guy is scott free, and get this - the girlfriend of one of these guys is falsely accusing Aaron of harassing her that night. He knows someone who works with this girl, and she's been telling her co-workers that they have a "plan" to try and get out of this, and now we know what the "plan" is. Now his trip home for Christmas will be delayed because of another hearing! Also, these three people had lawyers, and Aaron didn't. Now he'll have to hire a lawyer. I pray to God for justice!!!

And more bad news...Aaron will be deployed in January. I just cried today with all of this nightmarish news. Please continue to pray for Aaron!

UPDATE: Aaron hired a lawyer, and the lawyer is requesting a continuance, so at least Aaron will still be able to come home for Christmas.